Maybe you are already a pro, a sultry vixen who has no problem getting all your sexual thoughts to roll off your tongue in a way that sends shivers down your partners spine. Or, maybe you struggle sex talk and after giving it your best you yell out something awkward that leaves you both in a “wtf” moment and suddenly you’re drier than the Sahara desert, so to speak. Maybe you don’t talk at all during sex. Well, you should. It’s hella hot!
I’m taking the liberty of making assumptions and assume, if you are reading this, you want to improve your skills. If you’ve read any of my other stuff you know I am going to say, first things first, communicate.
Why do I have to talk so damn much?
You can search site after site, blog after blog and the common theme you’ll find is content on how to improve your sex life. Even the most intimate couple with sizzling chemistry will try to find ways to spice things up from time to time. A common answer to the question of improving sex life is communication. It really does help all aspects of sex but it’s imperative for pillow talk.
Every single person is different. Not just in preferences but their bodies are different too. Our erogenous zones are different. If you are in a long term relationship, keep talking about it. Our bodies change as we age and this is especially true for women who have had kids. Just because your partner was into something before doesn’t guarantee they will always like it. Sure, you can disregard this advice and use the trial and error method but there is bound to be a lot of misses and missed orgasms in that method. Ask your partner what the like, what you already do that they love and what they fantasize about. If they want you to do, they want to hear you talk about it.
Don’t forget about yourself?
Talk about what you want. You are just as important and, no doubt, your partner probably gets off, or at least gets excited, pleasing you. Talking about the things that you like that your partner already does, not only gives positive reinforcement, but is a good way to start your pillow talk. Plus, you are already doing it so there is a level of comfort there. Use that as your starting point and start talking about things you would like them to do or things you fantasize about. Remember that not all fantasies have to come to fruition but remember to make that clear to your significant other so there are no misunderstandings.
Use your phone for foreplay.
If you had amazing sex the night before, send your partner a text and let them know how much you liked it. Let them know what exactly you liked, with details. You’ll find this is a great starter for “sexting”. It will excite the other person and get them to share their thoughts on the experience with you. It also lets them know you are thinking about them and builds anticipation and excitement for your next romp.
Talk during sex too!
Remember the positive affirmations. If you like it, tell them! This will only lead to better a better outcome for you. Tell them what you are going to do before you do it. Don’t get hung up on using the “right” words, say what comes natural to you. Don’t be afraid to ask for things you want. There are probably so many things your partner wants to do to you and with you but might be hesitating. Even if you it’s not something new to you, tell them. Sure maybe, on his own accord, eats your pussy regularly but hearing you tell him to do it will drive him crazy and he will do it with a whole new enthusiasm. Same goes for you fellas. I love going down on my man but when he asks me to do it, it lets me know he has been thinking about it throughout the day and that’s hot as hell.
I’ve tried and I still said something embarrassing. What do I do?
So, you’ve done it. You said something that makes absolutely no sense, had your awkward “wtf” moment. What are you to do?………..Laugh. It happened and you can’t take it back but it doesn’t need to ruin the amazing sex you just had. Laughter plus mind blowing sex is a fantastic combination.
Stay safe and sexy!